I adore being a mummy, it has been my dream since I was a child to hold my very own little newborn in my arms, to stare lovingly into my babes eyes and watch my precious little bundle grow and develope into a little person.
When I was asked in school what I wanted to be when I grew up I would always reply without hesitation “I want to be a mummy”
My teachers would often scoff and insist I choose an actual career….
I would begrudgingly choose veterinarian but secretly continue dreaming of babies and little mini me’s.
I had my first child aged 19, im the first to admit that yes I was too young and yes I had her with someone I didn’t really love but I’ll never regret my little princess because she became the sunshine in my darkness and being a mummy got me through many incredibly hard times.
At that time I was what alot of people consider to be “normal”
At aged 21, after I had split up with my daughter’s father, I got my first tattoo, my daughter’s name and date of birth, from that moment I was hooked!!
I also love piercings and I now have my tongue, bottom lip and top lip pierced as well as the usual ear piercings, I also now have six tattoos and I fully intend on getting more of both.
Now I walk down the street, tattoos and piercings on display along with my bright long red hair, made up face, leather jacket and black clothes and I find I am given the most horrendous stink eye from other mothers and the older generation!
I would like to politely inquire… What the bloody hell is your god damn problem you judgemental bastards?!
Yes I look different from how you choose to dress but does how I am dressed, my hair or the way I choose to decorate my body effect my ability to be a good mother?
No it bloody well does not.
I am, if I may say, an amazing mum.
My babies come first in every area of my life, they go without nothing, I love them endlessly and I bring them up to have excellent manners, my children don’t have tantrums in public places, they aren’t spoilt, they are dressed very well, are always clean and are very happy little people.
Does being a mother mean I have to dress in frumpy shapeless clothing?
Does being a mother mean I have to forget I am a woman and have curves?
Does being a mother mean I am not allowed to express myself in the way I dress and present myself?
No, no, no, it bloody well does not.
I don’t go around in clothes that hardly cover my essentials, I don’t go round swearing and screaming at my children in the street, I see mothers all the time who think things like that are ok…..
Yet I am the one who is judged.
Let us open our minds and look at ourselves before looking down our noses at people who present themselves differently.
That woman who you have been slagging off because she looks different may turn out to be the nicest person and best friend you’ll ever hope to have.
Take a moment outside of your comfort zone and try speaking to the crazy lady with pink hair and a nose ring….
You never know…. She might NOT be Satan’s spawn as you had assumed her to be!
Im not at all ashamed to say that I adore all things vampiric.
Anything from Interview with a vampire to Dracula. I even have a soft spot for a bit of Twilight, it’s true.
I have been fascinated since my first introduction to the world of vampires through a little series called Buffy.
As a teen all my fantasies would include the delicious Angel.
And so my love affair with the creatures of darkness began.
As an adult my adoration continues….
It has manifested into my sex life and I have developed what many I suppose would consider “kinky” tastes in the bedroom.
I have tasted another’s blood and had mine tasted in return…. Cue the gasps of horror and disgust….. But what most of you may view as disgusting and nasty I view as tasting the delicious sweetness of another’s very soul.
It is the closest you can get to another human being and the ultimate offering of the pure essence of your life to share with the one you love.
It is also damn sexy when done right.
Picture this; You kneel in the candle light, in a classic pose of submission, hands in your lap, your head bowed, neck exposed, you feel vulnerable yet excited by this new adventure of the senses.
You hear movement behind you and the heat of another’s body upon your back.
Your heart beat is thunderous within your chest and your breathing hitches as a feather light touch traces a loving caress from the lobe of your ear to your shoulder.
Goose pimples cover your flesh as your body reacts to the simple yet deliciously promising touch on your skin.
As lips kiss your flesh you feel a quick sharp sting but the pain is minimal and you hardly notice it, too busy feeling heat pool in your belly as the kisses trail thier way to the small cut half way between your shoulder blade and the nape of your neck.
You hear an erotic moan escape your lover as they taste the sweet unique taste that is purely you, a hand finds your hair and a strong arm wraps around your waist to hold you as your essence is licked, sucked and kissed from your body…..
Sounds alright doesn’t it?
Obviously things can go very wrong very quickly if you aren’t careful and I would never recommend anyone make an incision anywhere on your neck, no matter how shallow.
If you have read my previous blog you will know why!
A small shallow cut perhaps on your back, tummy, shoulder, allowing a few drops of blood for the one you love to taste is not the most horrendous act in the world.
Considering what some people get up to I think this is actually a loving and bonding act to take part in!
An example…. Foot fetish…. Now each to thier own and I don’t judge anyone but personally I cannot stand anyone’s feet, apart from my children’s and only while they are small!
I don’t understand how anyone could find the stinking dirty plates of hell erotic!
This is obviously my own personal opinion and im sure many of you would rather suck a big toe than taste blood!
We are all so wonderfully different in so many ways, I just think humanity’s minds should be a touch more open, you dont like what I do? That’s ok! Just don’t judge me for it, I don’t judge you for enjoying someone squatting and pissing over your face! (yes this does actually happen)
Each person is different and so long as no one is getting hurt (unless that’s what turns them on!) then there’s no harm!
So I just received the third and final fifty shades book; fifty shades freed.
I have to say right from the start, I have a reasonable amount of experience in the world of BDSM.
I have been both submissive and Domme and these books are DANGEROUS.
The world of BDSM is absolutely nothing like these books put across.
It is dark and it IS extremely dangerous. I shudder to think of the amount of women who will get involved with men claiming to be a real life Mr Grey who will actually turn out to be men using the cover of Dom as an excuse to simply beat the crap out of women.
I myself have had a few bad experiences, the danger doesnt always come in the form of an arsehole abuser, no, an ex of mine claimed to be an experienced Dom and naive little me believing every word agreed to allow him to cut my neck with a razor and drink my blood….. I lost alot of blood and im lucky I got a scar and not a coffin. He blatantly bull shitted and put my life in danger in order to live out his own fantasy.
ALOT of inexperienced men and women will claim to have years of practice as a Domme/Dom when in fact it’s something they came across last week and fancied giving it a go!
BDSM can be incredibly erotic and bloody amazing IF done correctly and safely.
For every truly experienced Master or Mistress you come across, there will be 50 pretenders you will have to sift through to find the real deal.
These books have turned a dangerous, seedy world into something romantic and wonderful. At no point do these books contain a warning to women or men who want to find thier Mr Grey after reading this shite that the way BDSM is depicted in the books is horrendously warped into something that it is almost impossible to find in real life.
LADIES! If you still insist upon delving into this world, TAKE A FRIEND WITH YOU, at least initially. If you are stupid enough to go alone please please please let someone know where you are going AND when to expect you back. Ask this person to expect a call or text from you to let them know you have arrived safely and another to let them know you have safely arrived home.
Alot of people keep things like this secret and that is exactly what sexual predators rely on. The threat of being beaten, raped or even murdered in this world is no joke, it is very very real.
You may be wondering…. If it’s all such a load of crap then why have you bought the next two books?!
Well dear reader let me enlighten you, I am rather mental….
As a result of my nuttyness I now have a thing about completion.
I bought the first book and read it…. Now I have to buy and read the other two to feel I have the complete set, if I do not it will nag at me…. I don’t feel the world would end or anything so dramatic, it will simply nag at me and I can’t stand being nagged, not by my partner, not by my kids, not by my mother and not by inanimate objects.
Stay safe and happy.
I’ll keep my name a mystery, not for any real solid reason, pretty much just cuz I don’t want it known who I am; you’ll see why.
I am a 25 year old girl, I say girl because woman always sounded too grown up to me…. Even though I have two children and that kinda makes me a grown up right?
I have a girl and a boy, my kids have different dads, judge away if you will but everyone’s shit stinks so quite frankly get over yourself.
My first relationship in which I had my eldest child, my daughter, was a horrendous relationship and I was glad when it was over, I have gone on to get myself into another bad relationship, silly cow! You would think I’d have learnt!
I still feel young, scared and vulnerable.
The outside world is a scary place and I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to enter it fully.
I love to write, mostly dark poetry with some erotica although I have never finished a novel!
I’ve had a difficult time in life and I must say I have been waiting for my happy for a long time now and it just seems to continuously and rather annoyingly evade me!
As a result of my past I am now absolutely mental but I try to come across as normal as I possibly can.
No one likes being abnormal do they?
Im waiting for my prince to come and save me, let’s just say the ogre has me in his grasp and I’ve not the strength to fight my way out of the tangled web of entrapment I’ve gotten myself into.
If you find yourself reading this, I guess all im here to do is express myself through letting it be known im here, I exist and I want to be heard.
I feel I have alot to give and alot of pent up crap to let out, I think alot of girls/women who are stuck in a bad relationship or anyone who’s had a bad time in life will relate to some of the things I have to say.
I try to be logical but my emotions tend to rule except in some grey areas where I have lost the ability to give a shit.
My dream is to live without worry and to be happy.
I don’t need expensive things, I’ve never had them, I can imagine it would be nice but I don’t dream of money, I dream of sunshine, love and happiness.
Don’t get me wrong, im not being beaten or raped or anything so horrifying! Im just not being loved, im taken for granted and made to feel like I don’t matter and it bloody well hurts, I think many of you girls will relate, how many of these bastard men treat us like idiots, lie and deceive to our god damn faces and think we are stupid enough to believe that bollocks!
Then again, isn’t it us who continue to cover our misery with a smile and an “ok honey”….
On my first mothers day after my son was born, my partner didn’t even wish me a happy mothers day. The whole day passed and nothing.
He remembered to call his mum but didn’t bother with letting me know im appreciated as a mother too.
Then like an absolute mug I will
go completely over board on fathers day…. Can’t help myself! Im that kind of person I guess, even if the person receiving my efforts doesn’t deserve a damn thing.
WARNING: I will swear, I will moan, I will give 100% honest opinions and won’t be afraid to do so.
I will share stories of love, hope, betrayal, bitterness, sadness, acceptance, sweetness, joy and pleasure.
If I bore you or you dislike this blog in any way shape or form, if you feel the need to criticise, judge or remark in the negative, fuck off. No ones forcing you to read this.